Harry Potter: Professional Hula Hoopa
by charlotteredmond99
Summary: Mr Weasley motioned towards the hula hoop, "What's exactly is it? And what's is it's exact function?"


The Houses Competition  
House: Gryffindor  
Year: Year 5 (Stand In)  
Category: Round 6, Standard  
Prompt: [Object] Hula Hoop/ Hoola Hoop  
Word Count: 1385 words

Harry woke with a start – a loud banging noise had pulled him from his peaceful sleep Years ago he would have immediately jumped up, ready for action, ready to take out the threat. These days he normally rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. Alas, although he did roll over the noise did not abate.

Finally getting so fed up that his morning was being interrupted so much he got up to see what the commotion was and to tell them to hence forth stop the commotion and leave.

He stumbled blearily downstairs and to the door where he could see a figure standing outside.

Pulling it open he saw Mr Weasley. Harry did genuinely wake up a bit more at seeing him at his front door, what could be the problem? Ron, Hermione, Mrs Weasley? Did he need to leave right now?

Harry was still trying to mentally prepare himself for the worst when his brain short-circuited.

Mr Weasley had thrust a hula hoop towards him. A. Hula. Hoop.

What was he supposed to do with it? Was it a portkey? A cursed object? Had somebody managed to transfigure themselves into it? What did he need to do?

Glancing to the solemn Mr Weasley he finally managed to ask, "What's going on?"

Mr Weasley motioned towards the hula hoop, "What's exactly is it? And what's is it's exact function?"

Harry just stared at him.

Was this really was why he was being woken up way too early in the morning to answer asinine questions.

Defeat Voldemort they said, do that and you'll never have to worry about anything again. No work, no annoyances, no bothers.

And yet here he was.

Was this really what his life had been leading to; the years of trying to stay alive at school, OWLS, being on the run from Voldemort, defeating Voldemort, Hermione forcing him to complete his NEWTS. He had thought it would maybe prepare him for adulthood, possibly even a job high up at the ministry with everything he had achieved.  
What he not thought would come of completing all of the above would be the ideal person to question about a hula hoop of all possible objects.

But really, a hula hoop?

He thought he should blame Ron for all of this. Without first becoming friends with him back on that fated day on the train he never would have been dragged into his large mess of a family, albeit a large happy mess of a family that he was now a part of. And proud of.

"It's a hula hoop Mr Weasley"

Harry watched as he mouthed the new words quietly to himself looking amazed at discovering such a strange new item.

"You step into it, pick it up and hold it around your waist and then you just kind of shimmy it around in a circle with your hips as you let go and keep it around your waist with just your body. I suppose people do it for fun."

Was that too much information? To little? Harry felt way too tired to deal with this; he hadn't yet even had a cup of tea. Maybe he should just go back inside and leave Mr Weasley to it out here?

Then he saw Mr Weasley trying to step into it.

If Mr Weasley died somehow doing this he was in no way being blamed. Harry could already see the headlines loudly proclaiming 'The Man Who Conquered Kills Weasley in Family Feud! Stop His Darkness Now"

It would all be downhill for him now, he could already see it. First Mr Weasley would die in a tragic hula hoop freak accident, then he'd have to let the Weasley's know before turning himself into the Ministry, the press would vilify him immediately upon discovering his arrest before the farce of a trial occurred which would sentence him to 28 years in Azkaban with the kiss after serving.

That would be exactly how it would go, unless he could prevent Mr Weasley from dying unfortunately right now.

Moving forwards out the front door he quickly grabbed Mr Weasley preventing him from falling on his face as he was about to do so.

"Okay Mr Weasley. Before you try and do it I'm going to enlarge it so that it's adult sized not child sized, then I'm going to show you how to do it, you'll practice the motion and then actually do it. Sound like a plan? Good. That's what we're doing."

For a plan thought up all on the fly Harry thought it was pretty good as far as plans can go. Now all he needed to do was execute it perfectly.

First step; enlarge the hoop. Simple, quick, easy to quickly mutter, "_engorgio_" and that was step one done. Now they had a hula hoop that was adult sized – all that he needed to do now was finish the other three steps.

Step two; hula hooping. This was going to be a struggle but he had to do it. Stepping into the hula hoop he picked it up and held it around his waist, spinning it around to get it into motion he let go and started to move his hips in a circular motion to keep it going.

After about 10 seconds where he was convinced he was going to drop it and his plans would be going up in flames, he did eventually get into the swing of it to keep it going. Tearing his eyes away from the hoop now it wasn't going to fall or burst into flames or strangle him somehow he looked at Mr Weasley. It said a lot about Harry's self-control that he didn't start sniggering.

The look of total wonder on his face could only be compared to a small child trying ice-cream for the first time and discovering a whole new world of taste of which nothing could better. To be frank, it looks cute on a small child's face but for a man of Mr Weasleys age to be looking in such a way at a hula hooping man was frankly ridiculous.

Yet Harry did not laugh because he was a professional – professional hula hoopa who did not laugh at his adoring fans.

Now onto step three, continuing his hula hooping ways he motioned for Mr Weasley to copy his moves, "Okay, now you just start to move your hips side to side around in a kind of circle like this, see, now you try." He was still not laughing at Mr Weasleys awful motions so he personally thought that his plan was still going quite well.

Finally step four. Harry stopped his hula hooping activity letting it drop to the ground before he stepped out of it and gestured for Mr Weasley to step in. "Now you have a go. Don't worry if it doesn't go perfect first time, you just have to keep practicing."

He watched as Mr Weasley picked it up and copied his earlier movements, not quite as refined as him but he could see it getting there in time. A few seconds later the hoop fell to the ground as Harry had predicted would happen but Mr Weasley picked it up and continued again, and again, and again, and again.

By the eighth time Mr Weasley picked it up Harry figured that Mr Weasley had it figured out well enough that he could practice it on his own. So the next time he dropped it he cut in saying, "Now you've got the hang of it I think that you would benefit from being in a larger area to have more room to spin the hoop. Maybe in your garden? That way you have room and nobody can bother you."

Harry watched in accomplishment as Mr Weasley nodded along saying in agreement, "Much more room to hula hoop. I'll pop 'round once I can hoop and show you. Oh Molly will be so impressed."

Harry just kept nodding as he waved Mr Weasley off and away from his porch.

At last he was gone. Harry turned around and went straight back inside, quickly making himself a cup of tea before he finally managed to crawl back in bed.

It was still much too early in the morning.


End file.
